


The Leverage Guide to a Successful Thief-Hacker-Hitter Relationship

by storiesfortravellers



Category: Leverage
Genre: Brief references to kink and spanking, Developing Relationship, Eliot Spencer pretends to be gruff but is a marshmallow softie for these two, F/M, Fluff, Hardison is a hacker and has zero respect for privacy, Humor, M/M, Multi, Parker Being Parker (Leverage), Relationship Negotiation, Rules
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2019-02-27 06:49:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13242801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesfortravellers/pseuds/storiesfortravellers
Summary: Eliot has recently joined Parker and Hardison in their relationship and thinks they should all set up some ground rules for their relationship. Some relationship negotiation, and possibly some silliness too, ensues.





	The Leverage Guide to a Successful Thief-Hacker-Hitter Relationship

**Author's Note:**

  * For [keita52](https://archiveofourown.org/users/keita52/gifts).



> For keita52, for the prompts communication, negotiation, safe sane consensual BDSM, and Parker/Hardison starting to expand to include Eliot as more than just their friend

“Rules?” Parker asked skeptically, “But rules are like laws, right? They’re things that people like because they’re bad at stealing”

“That’s a fair point,” Hardison said.

Eliot gave Alec an exasperated look. “Relationship rules. Because relationships are complicated and if we’re going to try to make this work, it would be good for us each to set some boundaries. For the others to respect,” he added pointedly.

“Is this about me monitoring your emails and texts?” Hardison asked, “Because I only do that for security. Though I do want to compliment you on your choice in porn. Excellent taste.”

“No, it’s – it is _not_ about that, but why the hell are you monitoring me and what gives you the right to do that?” Eliot said.

“What kind of porn does Eliot like?” Parker asked Hardison cheerfully, “Is it really, really kinky? Like more than he lets on?”

Hardison nodded. “Oh yeah. Super kinky.”

“Ooh,” Parker said happily. 

“As I was saying, boundaries,” Eliot growled. 

“Boundaries?” Parker said. “Oh, are you still mad about that time I broke into your house to steal your cookies? Because I just wanted some cookies, no need to get all RAWWR about it,” she added, making a little clawing motion with her hand.

“When was that?” Hardison said.

“Last night,” Eliot said testily, “At three in the morning. I thought someone was breaking in to kill me, Parker, I could have seriously hurt you!”

Parker snorted with laughter.

“Parker! It’s not funny,” Eliot yelled, and Hardison tried very hard not to laugh at Eliot’s reaction. “And besides,” Eliot continued, “You didn’t steal any cookies. You woke me up, wouldn’t shut the hell up until I baked you some cookies, then ate the cookies. That’s not stealing.”

“They weren’t my cookies. But I took them home. That’s stealing.”

“I gave you the cookies, and you didn’t take them home, you ate them.”

“I took them home in my stomach. Is that why we’re writing rules? Because you’re mad about how I took the cookies home?”

“No. I mean, yes I’m mad that you broke in, but no, that is not why. I just think that it’s important for us to _communicate_ our needs and boundaries to one another,” Eliot said.

The other two stared at him for a moment. Then Eliot yelled, “Dammit, I am NOT supposed to be the emotionally well-adjusted one in a relationship, so will you two just… cut me some slack?”

“Sure,” Hardison said. “We can write rules.”

“Yeah, we can do that,” Parker said in what, in her mind, probably was a decent attempt at sounding reassuring.

“Thank you. We’ll each write it on our own, and we’ll share it tonight at dinner, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

\--

_**Eliot’s Rules for this Relationship:** _

_1\. Hardison and Parker have to always be as safe as reasonably possible. Don’t make reckless choices in the field (Hardison!), and don’t do side jobs without backup (Parker!)._

_2\. We all have to acknowledge that even if we try our best, it might not work. If it turns out that me joining the two of you is a problem, we will TALK ABOUT IT, and if you two decide that it’s easier without me as part of that equation, that’s OKAY. We will still be friends, and I will still protect you and be on the team._

_3\. None of us had normal lives. None of us are good at sharing our emotions. We all need to work on that. We trust one another with our lives, but we have work on trusting one another with our scars. I don’t like it either, one bit, but I think we’re going to have to put some effort into it._

_4\. Stop hacking my phone, Hardison._

_5\. Parker, do not ever squeeze my balls again. You have very strong fingers. Also, my testicles do not have nicknames, so please stop calling them Ben Franklin and Ulysses S. Grant. I do not like to think of my balls as presidents._

Eliot finished reading aloud and looked at them. 

“What do you mean presidents? I thought those guys were just money,” Parker said.

“You named my balls after money?”

“It’s kind of the highest compliment Parker can give someone, so you should be flattered,” Hardison said. 

“Yeah, your balls should be flattered,” Parker said, “Also, one is bigger than the other, so that’s why lefty is a hundred and righty is only fifty.”

“Also, I kind of need to keep an eye on all phone communications. You never know when the data will help on the job,” Hardison said. 

Eliot glared.

“What? You said this would be a negotiation,” Hardison said.

“Fine!” Eliot grumbled. “And the other stuff?”

They both hesitated a long time. Finally, Hardison said, “Well the safety stuff makes sense. We’ll try our best. Though my choices in the field are excellent.” 

“Number two is stupid,” Parker said, clearly upset at the suggestion that she and Hardison might ever ask Eliot to step back out of the relationship.

Eliot looked to Hardison to explain to her why it was just good sense, but he just said, “Hey, I agree with her.”

Eliot sighed. “And number three?” 

They paused again. 

Parker bit her lip. “It’s just. It’s a good idea. I suppose. Technically. According to how ‘normal’ jerks do it, I guess. But what if it’s not like this?”

Eliot’s brow softened. “I’m not saying I expect us to do it perfectly. It’s just something I want us to work on. Like we work on our skills. We’ll just make an effort to learn how to be in a relationship, and be open with one another – not all at once, just a little at a time.”

“That sounds… doable,” Hardison said, looking a little relieved, and Eliot realized that Hardison had been just as nervous as Parker about this one. Eliot hadn’t expected that.

Parker nodded too. “Okay. If it only means we share our feelings an eensy weensy little bit, that’s okay.”

That wasn’t exactly what Eliot had meant. But it sounded like progress. “Okay,” Eliot said, “How about your rules, Hardison?”

_**Alec Hardison’s Awesome Tome of Guidelines and Rules of Engagement:** _

_000\. Prime directive: We all do our best to make one another happier and better._

_001\. Prime Directive Corollary: We don’t let personal stuff interfere with our jobs helping people._

_010\. We try to make up after a fight._

_011\. We watch Star Trek or Star Wars or Farscape or one of the Stargates at least one night per month._

_100\. No throwing Alec Hardison off of high places or laughing when he falls off of high places, regardless of whether he is wearing rigging._

_101\. Alec Hardison is obviously the best at all videogames._

_110\. Sex should be followed by at least 10 minutes of cuddling, or 30 minutes of cuddling if there was a lot of fun S &M stuff._

_111\. The left half of the top shelf of the refrigerator is reserved for orange soda only.  
_

“Why are the numbers that way?” Parker said.

“I used binary.”

“Of course you did,” Eliot said. 

“So, the rules?” Hardison asked. He looked a little nervous about what they were going to say.

Eliot read them over again. He was actually kind of impressed. The last few were what he expected, but the first three showed a maturity that he kind of wasn’t expecting. 

Not that Eliot would ever say that.

“You suck at Call of Duty,” Eliot said, crossing off #101. 

Parker grabbed the pencil then and crossed off #100.

“I threw those rules in there just so we would have something to negotiate anyway,” Hardison mumbled unconvincingly.

“Okay, Parker,” Eliot said, “Did you write any rules?”

Parker shrugged, then handed them her paper instead of reading aloud.

_**My list:** _

_1\. Crème brulee is good._

_2\. I have a fantasy that I like a lot, it’s where Hardison and I take turns spanking Eliot, and Eliot complains the whole time that we’re not doing it right. The complaining is not sexy at all, I just have a hard time imagining it without the complaining._

_3\. Money.  
_

 

“Why did you end with money?” Eliot said.

“I googled ‘how to make a list’ and it said to end with a positive note.”

“So, we can have crème brulee at least once every couple of weeks for dessert, then?” Hardison said, trying very hard to gauge if Eliot were going to be annoyed at Parker’s list.

Eliot nodded and gave Parker a smile. “I’d be happy to make crème brulee any time you want.”

“Good. So, do you guys like rule number two?” Parker asked.

“This is more of a description than a rule,” Hardison said. 

Parker rolled her eyes. “No. It’s saying that we get to have lots of fun sexytimes but that we always remember to share. Sharing is hard, especially for thieves, but we’re going to share and take turns and be fair, even when it sucks. And we’re going to accept everyone for who they are, whether they are how I am or how Alec is or if they are a big complainer like Eliot, we all accept it. That’s the rule.”

“That’s a really good rule, Parker,” Hardison said with a sweet smile.

“It is,” Eliot agreed. “Thanks for doing this, you guys. I know it wasn’t easy.”

“It wasn’t that hard,” Hardison said unconvincingly, “I barely thought about it all.”

“You went through 79 drafts,” Parker said.

“How do you know that?”

“I stole your garbage can to get ideas for my rules,” Parker said, “But then I just decided to look up how to do a list and that was easier.”

Hardison nodded like that made a lot of sense. 

Eliot smiled. He kind of wanted to say that he was proud of all three of them. But instead, he said, “Hey, how about I make some crème brulee and we watch a nerd movie tonight?”

Hardison and Parker looked at each other. “How about you tie us up and go down on us first?” Parker said, overly casually. “You know, if you feel like it. We don’t care at all either way.”

“We care a little,” Hardison mumbled. “And which nerd movie?”

“Come here,” Eliot said with a laugh as he hugged them both. He held them, letting the hug linger, until Parker bit at his earlobe, and Hardison kissed his neck, and he let out a low growl. “Let’s head to the bedroom then?” he said.

“Grant and Franklin can lead the way.”

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [The Leverage Guide to a Successful Thief-Hacker-Hitter Relationship [Podfic]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17200760) by [blackglass](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackglass/pseuds/blackglass)




End file.
